The Life Within – Conception, Fertility, and Loss

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139:13-16

When I was trying to get pregnant with our second child, I had joined several online fertility communities.  I had the profound experience of being able to share an intimate picture of fertility (and infertility) with other women – challenges conceiving, the sorrows of repeated miscarriage, the excitement of conception, and the anguish of stillbirth.  These women treasured each embryo as a child.

The signs of life were humanly detectable as early as 8 days, with faint double lines visible on the earliest pregnancy tests (if held under “just the right light” and magnified on screen – posted for all to scrutinize, which we dutifully and excitedly did).  My son announces his presence as an 11 day old embryo:11dpo

On the one hand, we celebrate new life.  We can connect with our unborn babies as never before – hearing their heartbeats, seeing them move and grow within our bodies as early as 4 weeks after conception.  We name them, frame pictures of them, take movies of them, and buy them presents – all before they are born.

On the other hand, when a human embryo/fetus is “undesired”, it is named “Tissue”.

When we have difficulty conceiving, we have devised all kinds of fertility treatments.  When we don’t wish to conceive, we have devised all kinds of birth control methods.  When we don’t wish to conceive but do anyways, our society condones the removal of the “products of conception”.  We are obscessed with control over life and death.

We treat human lives as disposable.  This abortion clock is staggering.  Over 1.3 billion babies have been aborted since 1980 worldwide – by far the largest toll on human life that has ever occurred in human history.  But without a belief in God, what makes human life inherently valuable?  Or any life, for that matter (but please observe that we don’t generally abort unwanted litters of puppies and kittens… and there are laws to protect unborn endangered non-human species – such as bald eagles).

Sex is fun.  But it produces babies – that is its’ primary biologic purpose.  Babies are not always that fun.  And here is our society’s conundrum.  We want to do whatever we want, with no consequence.  Making, and taking, lives is acceptable – even celebrated – in our godless society.  “I do what is right for me”.   If I do what is right for me, what if YOU are in the way of ME?

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.   Proverbs 14:12

Mother Teresa

The abortion rates and general acceptance worldwide are a major flag that is pushing the end of God’s tolerance.  Each and every one of those babies has a voice that is crying out to the God who made them.  God hears them, and will respond.  A time of judgement is near, but there is a way out.  And that is only through God’s grace and the forgiveness he provides through Jesus.

I believe these babies, in their innocence, all go to heaven.  Sin did not have a chance to spring up in them, and thus they are still blameless before God.  These children will live forever, in eternity, yearning to be joined by their mothers and fathers and siblings.  There is only one way to get there and be with them.

I strongly believe that in this life, nothing happens by accident or coincidence – things aren’t determined by fate or luck (good or bad).  I believe there is an overarching story – a beautiful picture of love, loss, and redemption – and that there is Someone who cares and is in control.  You are already a part of this story, whether you know or believe it or not.  While the end of the story has already been written, your own part lays open before you for you to choose your ultimate destiny.  Perhaps our coinciding struggles have been finely orchestrated to lead you to this one moment: The Bridge to God.




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